HELP I CANT TAKE THIS!!!!!?

ive had anxiety for 3 years and im 18 now. Its always their, but if i take xanax or if im tired and sometimes i feel happy its like its still their but very quiet if that makes sense like its very very mild and easy to deal with. But ever since my first panic attack that changed my whole thought process, i feel like it rewired my thinking process like i think in a diffrent way, i still feel the same emotions but i cant go on vacations or sleep at anybodies house anymore because my ocd flares and i get scared cause im not home in my comfort zone. I dropped out of high school, never had a job i feel like i cant cope with living, am extremllyyyyy depressed, and ocd RULES my life. I obsess about anything like that i have schizophrenia, autism, some kind of unknown mental illness and i just obsess over it. But for the past 2 days ive been "over analyzing" i guess is the term, But im obsessing over not being unable to understand what words, emotions, jokes etc. mean. For example(and this never happend before jokes always came natural along with empathy, and sympathy up untill 2 days ago) But anyways say if someone tells me a joke before i would of got the joke laughed got the sarcasm laughed got people emotions like if there angry sad mad happy, But now its like im over analyzing every single thing if someone tells me a joke my brain goes nuts and i just cant figure out the joke i have to literly explain to myslef why i get the joke, i have to explain to myself why people are mad why there happy and its like i have to try and my brain feels like its blocking me from understanding. Even though i am understanding i still get jokes emotions and everything but the thought of getting every jone or emotion has been constintly on my mind and it causes me HUGGGEE amount of anxiety i had a horrible panic attack last night because i felt like ill never be the same again. I was on antidepressants for 3 months when i first started getting anxiety attacks, And it did wonders idk why it doesnt help other people but it literly felt like i got my life back, the anxiety was still their in the back of my mind but it was so mellow its like it wasnt their. I started sleeping at peoples houses and just applying myself even though i never got a job. But i got off it idk why i just got lazy and felt like i didnt need it anymore and ever since then my OCD has blown WAYY out of proportion and im literly in tears right now as im typing this. I cant keep living this way i just want to be able to be free and happy. But the getting emotions and jokes thing started because i read an article on aspergers and starte obsessing that i had that and thats why i feel like i dont get jokes or emotions anymore. Before i read the symptoms of aspergers i still had anxiety and depression but i felt like myslef, ive alwyas understood social cues, jokes, sarcasm, facial and body expressions, i could always tell if someone was bored of my conversation, And made eye contact. But ever since i read the symptoms i feel like i cant understand people when they talk when i make eye contact because my brain is focusing on eye contact and not the conversation and that eye contact use to come naturally so i used to be able to make eye contact before. And what i mean by i cant understand language is for example, If i told u to say the word apple over and over and over again the word seems wierd and doesnt have the same meaning, well thats exactly what my minds doing i feel like words have no meaning as if there speaking a language i dont understand and along with this feeling i get kind of like a buzz in the back of my head along with anxiety and depression and i just feel like theres a mental block in my mind. Sorry for the long long question i just need reinsurance that im going to get better and this over analyzing will go away i just cant see it happening. Please if anybody on here knows anything about this PLEASE HELP!!!